Super Turk and Super Pork Chop!
The 10th Turk and Pork Chop Adventure
By Jonathan Joy
The Ashland Beacon
Turk is a turkey. Pork Chop, a pig. From their 2016 escape from The Meat Jackpot Restaurant to 2023 success in the big Turkey Bowl wrestling tournament, the pair’s annual Thanksgiving adventures have been chronicled here for nine straight years.
No Thanksgiving was bigger, though, than the year our poultry pair visited Professor Theo’s mysterious, top secret, experimental lab on the campus of Splendid University. (It is this lab that some believe to be at the heart of the many strange happenings in nearby Splendid, West Virginia.)
Professor Theo had given them free rein to tour his facilities. That was a mistake.
“What do you think this does?” Pork Chop asked, pointing at a vial of pink goo.
“Be careful!” Turk screamed!
Pork Chop accidentally knocked over the vial. It fell, smashed and broke on the ground below. The pink goo bubbled and smoked ominously.
“Clean it up!” Pork Chop panicked.
“No, don’t touch it. Professor Theo said not to touch anything under any circumstances.” Turk tried to stop Pork Chop, but it was too late. Pork Chop was in full clean up mode.
“You think anyone will notice?”
A nervous Turk replied, “I think we should get out of here.”
They should have fessed up, but fear of getting in trouble outweighed their guilt.
When Pork Chop awoke the next day, he felt…different. “Wow, I’m swole!” Pork Chop exclaimed when he looked in the mirror to find himself larger and extremely muscular.
Later that day he showed off his newfound super strength to his best friend. “Look at this, Turk.” Pork Chop said, as he lifted an entire car effortlessly above his head.
“Odd things have been happening to me, too, Pork Chop.” Turk admitted. “Watch.” Suddenly, Turk ran with super speed to one end of the yard and back again. What would normally have taken him a full twenty to thirty seconds took only two seconds.
“Wow! I’m super strong and you’re super fast.” Pork Chop said in amazement.
“We’re superheroes!” Turk added excitedly.
Super Turk and Super Pork Chop embraced their roles as the new defenders of downtown Ashland. When the JackHammer supervillain threatened to destroy the city’s new roundabouts, she hadn’t expected to be outdone by a pig with powers, but that’s exactly what happened. And when The Art Attack bad guy came after the Paramount, Turk’s quickness kept him constantly two steps ahead. Eventually, goodness prevailed.
Super Turk and Super Pork Chop saved Thanksgiving that year. They toppled the dreaded Mashed Potato Bandit, a villain whose plot to rid Ashland of everyone’s favorite Thanksgiving Day side dish, was thwarted by our heroes. A similar fate awaited the Cranberry Crook and the Stuffing Swindler. (As you know, Turk and Pork Chop are no fans of Thanksgiving…for obvious reasons…but they wouldn’t stand for side dish thievery.)
Our poultry duo became local celebrities. They were honored in the annual Christmas parade. They were celebrated on the front page of the Ashland Beacon. The two rode this superhero high for weeks, capturing shoplifters and even foiling a bank robbery along the way.
There were side effects, though. Eventually, after a month of living that Super Pig and Super Turkey life, the pair began to slow down.
“I’m not feeling good, Turk.” Pork Chop admitted.
Turk felt the same. “I’ve never felt so weak, Pork Chop. What’s happening to us?”
Days went by and their condition quickly deteriorated.
“I think we need to talk to Professor Theo. To confess. Maybe he can help.” Turk led. Pork Chop followed.
Thankfully, Professor Theo was understanding. He was young once, too, and made his share of mistakes.
“It’s a good thing you came to see me.” Professor Theo said. “Those side effects won’t get any better on their own.”
Turk was terrified. “You mean…”
“…we’re…not going to make it…” Pork Chop finished his sentence.
“Not without the anecdote.” Professor Theo consoled.
Turns out the pink superhero serum Pork Chop had accidentally bumped and broke was strong but dangerous stuff. It had the power to turn ordinary people or animals into super beings, but all the Professor’s test subjects eventually grew quite ill. “It became life threatening.” Theo admitted. “I’ve been studying it for possible improvement ever since. Fortunately, I was able to develop an anecdote which removes the bad side effects. Unfortunately, it will also take your superpowers away.”
Gratefully, within a few hours, Turk and Pork Chop began to feel much better. They learned an important lesson about honesty, too. It’s always better to come clean with your mistakes before they compound into something that you, perhaps, cannot handle.
Their superhero days were likely done, but that’s okay.
“How many turkeys and pigs can say they were once superheroes, friend?” Turk asked. “Even if only for a month or so.”
“Just us.” Pork Chop answered. “Just the two of us. And what a glorious month it was.”
“Except the getting real sick part.” Turk added.
“Yes, except for that.” Pork Chop admitted.
Our poultry pair have survived yet another Thanksgiving. Tune in November 2025 to read the further adventures of Turk and Pork Chop.
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