Growing Greenup- Mother’s Day and Youth Development

Growing Greenup

Mother’s Day and Youth Development

Anne Stephens

I hope everyone had a Mother’s Day weekend full of smiles, hugs, and happy memories. In my family, we celebrate my mother’s birthday and Mother’s Day together because they are always close together. I have a terrific mom and I am glad that my family always gets together to enjoy special occasions with each other. We have a good time together and for that, I am thankful.

Without the need to cite a reference, I think that I can make the statement that our mothers play an integral part in shaping our lives. As a mother, I take that responsibility very seriously, although I may not always do the best job. I will make the further statement that I am probably not alone in that feeling. I believe that most of us do the best that we can to be good parents, but it is hard and we don’t always know the right things to do.

As we celebrate our mothers or the memory of our mothers, it is my hope that we all enjoy some good stories as we spend time together. I love it when both of my sons are physically with me because it doesn’t happen very often anymore. That is what happens when they grow up. We want them to grow, learn, and go out into the world unafraid to have new experiences…but it is hard when it actually happens. When we all get to be together, we have fun and enjoy the time in a new way. We remember what it used to be like, but we enjoy what it is now. Life moves on and we must embrace it.  

To complete this week’s column, I will share some information from the University of Kentucky Family and Consumer Science Program that is part of the Cooperative Extension Service. Extension has research based information on a zillion topics (it seems like a zillion). One of those topics is parenting and youth development.

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Parenting is not easy. It is something that we can learn about and strive to do better every day. Developing positive relationships with our children is part of parenting. A strong relationship based on love and trust is a component of a strong family. Who else, besides family members, have important relationships that can shape the development of a child? 

Developing positive relationships:

If you are a parent or work with parents, you know that kids have a lot of pressure to succeed in school. You also know that your kids do better when caring teachers and other adults forge positive relationships with them in their classrooms and out-of-school-time programs.

The University of Kentucky Cooperative Extension Service routinely uses material from “Parent Further” which is hosted by Search Institute, an independent nonprofit organization committed to helping families, schools, and youth organizations solve critical challenges in the lives of young people. Helping young people succeed is the focus of this research.

What are developmental relationships and why do they matter? A developmental relationship is a close connection between a young person and an adult or between a young person and a peer that powerfully and positively shapes the young person’s identity and helps the young person develop a thriving mindset. A thriving mindset is a multi-dimensional construct and the subject of ongoing Search Institute research.

How can we create and strengthen developmental relationships?

  In addition to enhancing understanding of developmental relationships through research, Search Institute also works with schools, youth programs, families, and communities to co-create practical tools for strengthening developmental relationships.  

Structures:

  Where are the places in young people’s lives where their organizational arrangements promote the creation and strengthening of developmental relationships? These structures are families, schools, youth programs, churches, etc.  

Starters:

  We need to be mindful of how we design methods and activities that put new relationships on the path to becoming developmental relationships over time. Parents are doing this throughout a child’s life, but schools and youth programs have less time in which to develop relationships and must work to keep their structures positive.   

Strategies:

  It is always important to identify techniques that strengthen and sustain developmental relationships in a variety of contexts. Every day is a new opportunity to connect and build a strong relationship with the people in our lives.  

Solutions:

  We should always strive to discover relationship-based ways to solve pressing problems in family dynamics, education, and youth development. Goals such as improving academic performance and reducing risk behaviors are supported by Search Institute www.search-institute.org.

A thriving mindset can be summarized as the orientation not just to get by in life, but to flourish—not just to survive, but to thrive. As anyone who has worked with young people can attest, once a child has developed the drive and, over time, the ability to be the best that he or she can be, an important step has been taken on the path to becoming a productive, happy, and contributing member of society.

When a thriving mindset shapes a young person’s decisions and actions, he or she is more likely to work hard both inside and outside of school, and to develop a range of social and emotional skills that are essential for success in some type of college, work, and civic life.

May we all strive to be the parent and/or mentor who works to create and sustain a positive relationship with the youth in our lives. When we are given the opportunity to be an adult in the life of a child who can be part of their positive support system, may we take on that challenge and work to make it happen. This does not come easy. We have to make it an intentional goal. It is our responsibility as adults. 

For more information, contact Anne Stephens, Agent for Community Arts and Development in Greenup County. 606.836.0201 anne.stephens@uky.edu Greenup County Cooperative Extension Service, 35 Wurtland Avenue, Wurtland, KY 41144. This institution is an Equal Opportunity Provider.