Straight Paths- I’m A Server

I’m A Server

Loren Hardin

The Ashland Beacon

     I’m revisiting my old friend, Doug, this week.  Doug was sixty-seven years old when he enrolled in outpatient hospice services with end stage congestive heart failure. You may remember Doug’s previous column titled, “Your Sins Will Find You Out.”  When Doug and his friend, Jerry, were six years old, they decided to play cowboy and round up all the cats in the neighborhood. Doug recounted, “We caught every cat we could find. We had about three burlap sacks full. We took the cats to Jerry’s parent’s garage, and we painted all the cats green with a paint brush, and we turned them loose on New Boston. We sure had a lot of people mad at us. The police tracked green paw prints back to the garage and came to both of our houses. My mom sure taught me a lesson.”

     Doug enjoys going out for coffee so we frequent “Bob Evans” and “The Huddle House”. Doug amazes me; how he instantly connects with the waitresses, the servers. They all appear to take a shine to Doug. A young waitress came to take our order and Doug asked her, “How are you doing today?” She replied, “Fine”, and then she asked if we’d like some coffee. Doug replied, “Sure, but take your time honey, we’re in no hurry.” When she returned Doug kindly thanked her and commented, “You seem like a really good waitress”. She smiled and replied, “It’s easy when you only have one table.”

     I confess that at first, I said to myself, “Doug is smooth. What a charmer!” But Doug taught me that there’s nothing wrong with being charming if it stems from a sincere respect and appreciation.

    When I told Doug how impressed I was with his respect for the waitresses he said, “I think I got that from my mom. Back in the thirties and forties some people looked down on people who served. Mom always told us that there’s not much distance between us and them; we could be there sometimes. People take waitresses for granted, but they wouldn’t if they had to get up and get things themselves. I feel for the working people, and they are the real working people. Many of them are probably working two or three jobs just to make ends meet. They need a boost. They don’t need anybody tearing them down. What they do may not even be completely to your liking sometimes, but they may be doing the best they can. You have to overlook people sometimes, they’re only human. Some days I can’t even stand myself. Do you know what I mean?”

     A couple of weeks ago I was standing in line at a convenient mart waiting to pay for gas. A young lady ahead of me, holding a large purse, was counting out change on the counter. I’m ashamed to admit it but I was getting more impatient by the minute, until she turned and apologized for taking so long. She explained, “I’m a server, and at the end of the month I have to use my tip money to pay for gas.” I assured her, “That’s okay. You don’t need to apologize”.

    Doug, and the young girl at the convenient mart that day, changed my thinking forever. I’ll never look at a server the same again. Jesus also tried to change the thinking of his disciples. He pulled them off to the side when they started arguing about which of them should be considered the greatest (Luke 22:24-27)?  And when the mother of two of the disciples asked Jesus to let one son sit at his right hand, and her other son at His left hand in His kingdom, He explained, “…whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant…Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for Many” (Matthew 20:20-28)

     The Apostle Paul exhorted the believers at Philippi, “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant…” (Philippians 2: 5-11)

     Loren Hardin was a social worker with SOMC-Hospice for twenty-nine years. He can be reached at 740.357.6091 or at lorenhardin53@gmail.com. You can purchase his book, "Straight Paths: Insights for living from those who have finished the course” at Amazon.