Straight Paths - In The Living Years

In The Living Years

Loren Hardin

The Ashland Beacon

                 This is part one of a series about Michael who was sixty years old when he enrolled in outpatient hospice services with end stage cirrhosis of the liver.  Michael was an electrician by trade, and a member of the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers. Michael is one of seven children and explained, “I’m two minutes older than my twin sister, Michelle, but she’s the one who taught me to always say ‘thank you’ and ‘you’re welcome’.”

                  Michael spends most of his time at home now, but he enjoys attending church and going out to eat when he is up to it.  Michael also enjoys watching sports on TV. He and his wife, Diana, are diehard Buckeye and Browns fans. Diana declared, “I watch all the games”. And Michael has read the local newspaper every day for almost fifty years. He reflected, “I used to enjoy keeping up with local news and sports but now I read it mainly to see who’s died”.

                 Michael talked candidly about his spiritual journey: “I was saved twenty-five years ago at Cedar Street Church of God in New Boston. I’ve gone to church off and on since then, but I recommitted my life about two years ago when all this happened to me.  And I’ve been reading the Bible regularly for the past year. I played football in high school, but I quit after my sophomore year. Football is just a game and almost dying puts things in perspective. My football season is almost over, my life is coming to an end, and I need to make decisions about my funeral, but who do you talk to?” I told Michale, “I can talk with you about it when you’re ready”.

                 Michael shared, “I want there to be a visitation time; because I know about thirty-thousand people, and I want to give them all a chance to say good-bye.” Michael smiled and added, “I don’t want people rushed.” I asked Michael if there was any special music he wanted played at his service and he replied, “I’d like ‘I am a friend of God’, by Phillips, Craig, and Dean, and ‘In the Living Years’, by Mike and the Mechanics.” I responded, “That’s the first time I’ve heard anyone request a song by Mike and the Mechanics to be played at their funeral.” Michael explained, “I want that song played because there’s no blaming others for what you’ve done in your life. And people need to tell each other how they feel while they have the chance.”

                 I pulled out my iPhone, pulled up the song on YouTube and Michael and I listened to the song together: “Every generation blames the one before, and all of their frustrations come beating on your door. I know that I’m a prisoner to all my father held so dear; I Know that I’m a hostage to all his hopes and fears… So, we open a quarrel between the present and the past, we only sacrifice the future; it’s the bitterness that lasts… I wasn’t there that morning when my father passed away, I didn’t get to tell him all the things I had to say. I think I caught his spirit later that same year, I’m sure I heard his echo in my baby’s newborn tears. I just wish I would have told him in the living years,” (“In the living years”, by Mike and the Mechanics, 1988).

                 When I stood to leave, Michael smiled and said, “You’re from New Boston so you can come back anytime.” Then Michael told me, “I love you brother!” To be honest, I was blindsided by Michael’s expression of affection. I hesitated for a moment and then replied, “I love you too brother.” I decided I’d better tell Michael, “In the living years.”   

                 “If I had only known the last time would be the last time, I would’ve put off all the things I had to do. I would’ve stayed a little longer, held on a little tighter, now what I’d give for one more day with you,” (“Scars in heaven”, by Casting Crowns).